Fixing Great Britain

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish
parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed


2) They MUST buy a new British car.

Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed


3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

Housing Crisis fixed


4) They MUST send their kids toschool/college/university -

Crime rate fixed


5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....


and there's your money back in duty/tax etc


6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes
us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution
emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely
claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not, please disregard.


Grumpies of the World Unite


Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel
chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if
they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned
to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to
their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and
education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have
a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off
at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and
have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):
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COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic
our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago,
right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria ?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate
125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each
of them a cow.
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THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ...
Why don't we just give them ours?
It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're
not using it anymore.
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THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or
Parliament, is this -
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and
'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians.....
It creates a hostile work environment.
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Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone --
YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

Perhaps letters addressed to mr Blair/Brown over the previous decade and a half asking them why they thought invading a country and lying to parliament with the outcome being this country is a far more dangerous place to live than before the Iraqi invasion would have been useful.The argument that they were Bush's puppets holds no water when you realise mr Bush has the IQ of joey Bartons imprisoned brother and trigger out of only fools mixed together and would have written to congress in crayon.Think I'll give the tube trains a swerve for a while when visiting the capital for the cup final
Mr Cameron and his seat warmer/ pa mr clegg can hardly be held accountable for being left with a bankrupt country,a ridiculous open border policy,a country devoid of law and order,shambolic education system etc
This politically correct,morally bankrupt society my children are growing up in is shameful

But Mr camerons friends the merchant bankers CAN be held accountable, though to hear the excuses coming out of all labours fault is laughable.

I didnt thin Labour were in charge of USA, Ireland< Germany, Portugal Greece etc all of who are suffering similar financial melt downs.

This is not a pro labour rant by the way but an all politicials are....well politicians, they lie, bend the truth so its going back up their own fundament and if you try and believe what they say in their manifestos you end up laughing til you cry.

Its all about the long-term plan. I agree, we were sent to war on the original premise of WMD. It became very clear early on that Saddam had no WMD and had in fact destroyed any of his WMD capability in 1993 - after a UN inspection.

The problem being - if the USA have an agenda - and another ally misses the boat - on the long-term plan - then this can have even more, far-reaching consequences.

Read this link:

http://royaldutchshellplc.com/2011/03/22/shell-wins-approval-to-drill-new-gulf-of-mexico-deepwater-wells/

I was with top level 'employees' of the this company yesterday in Holland......and they told me about Bush Snr using their private jets - Falcon 7X's, to take him to a meeting (full of secret service on board)........24 hours later..........they win the contract worth £b's and £b's.

I was told by somebody who studies the cyclic trends of worldwide economics, back in 2003, that within 5 years, we'd be in a global recession. It occurs approx every 3rd generation, with some European countries on a slightly upward/downward curve against the present position of the UK.

In simple terms - look back over the your family's generations - who were the scrimpers (ie no money), who were the savers (work was ok, but times were hard), who were the spenders ( most of our generation).

We have become the scrimpers, after years of spending, which suggests our children will be the savers - and so on and so on.

As for the £1m??? Great idea!!!