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Membership
+4
lee1pen
Paulpowersleftfoot
BoyWithTheArabsCash
Boris
8 posters
Page 1 of 1
Membership
by Boris Thu May 19, 2011 2:29 pm
Manchester City have announced details of their 3 new levels of Membership:-
SUPERBIA – This is for our real supporters, fans who are willing to devote both their lives and their income to the club. You will be given preferential treatment at all games and will be allowed to gaze at the corporate guests (from a distance of 10 Meters) who are the lifeblood of this club.
PLATINUM – OK, Your life has been a source of general disappointment to your parents but in keeping with our Working Class roots, we’re still prepared to accept you as a fan. The upgrade will only cost £50 which will probably make you feel ashamed but you can make amends by spending £25 in City Square, before and after each game.
GOLD – Oh dear! If you are living in a hostel for Methadone addicts in Collyhurst then this is the card for you. Supporters stooping to this level will be required to wear an orange boiler-suit at all games and must also carry a bell to warn real supporters of their presence.
SUPERBIA – This is for our real supporters, fans who are willing to devote both their lives and their income to the club. You will be given preferential treatment at all games and will be allowed to gaze at the corporate guests (from a distance of 10 Meters) who are the lifeblood of this club.
PLATINUM – OK, Your life has been a source of general disappointment to your parents but in keeping with our Working Class roots, we’re still prepared to accept you as a fan. The upgrade will only cost £50 which will probably make you feel ashamed but you can make amends by spending £25 in City Square, before and after each game.
GOLD – Oh dear! If you are living in a hostel for Methadone addicts in Collyhurst then this is the card for you. Supporters stooping to this level will be required to wear an orange boiler-suit at all games and must also carry a bell to warn real supporters of their presence.
Last edited by Boris on Thu May 19, 2011 4:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
Boris- Bench Warmer
- Posts : 761
Location : Manchester, England. -
Re: Membership
by BoyWithTheArabsCash Thu May 19, 2011 3:21 pm
Haha Inky.
I shouldn't laugh, i'm usually one of the 'lifebloods' of the club and spit on you mere mortals.
I shouldn't laugh, i'm usually one of the 'lifebloods' of the club and spit on you mere mortals.
BoyWithTheArabsCash- Regular Starter
- Posts : 1132
Location : Giggidy.
Re: Membership
by Boris Thu May 19, 2011 3:27 pm
I consider it an honour to scrape the dried spittle from my matted hair when I return to my lowly hovel after a game. 
Boris- Bench Warmer
- Posts : 761
Location : Manchester, England. -
Re: Membership
by Paulpowersleftfoot Thu May 19, 2011 3:58 pm
Surely with a superbia card you are entitled to a gold card fag to ferry your truffles and krug via silver platter to your armchair overlooking the platinum lowlife below?
Paulpowersleftfoot- Key Player
- Posts : 3675
Location : Leafy cheshire
Re: Membership
by Boris Thu May 19, 2011 4:13 pm
I've decided to go for the Platinum but move to a cheaper seat to off-set the increase. I'll sign up for all 3 cup schemes as I would possibly only miss 1 as I have my hols in January - normally.
Net cost/gain - £5 extra for my S/T plus 1060 extra loyalty points.
Net cost/gain - £5 extra for my S/T plus 1060 extra loyalty points.
Boris- Bench Warmer
- Posts : 761
Location : Manchester, England. -
Re: Membership
by Paulpowersleftfoot Thu May 19, 2011 4:25 pm
If I get superbia don't be offended if I flick bogies at you from above
Paulpowersleftfoot- Key Player
- Posts : 3675
Location : Leafy cheshire
Re: Membership
by lee1pen Thu May 19, 2011 4:44 pm
If you get Superbia do you get a free prawn sarnie to spit out instead of a dummy
lee1pen- Regular Starter
- Posts : 1228
Age : 73
Re: Membership
by blueboy Thu May 19, 2011 5:05 pm
I've signed up for the Latviapurbia card.
You get to spend most of your year in a shit hole of a country, populated by beautiful, but miserable-as-fuck women and very badly dressed men. It includes a free wireless code for the hotel you are staying in - which entitles you to spend 3 hours setting up a connection, another hour searching for a free football site to get a workable stream, then.....another fucking hour, pressing F5 on your laptop to refresh the once working stream.
Not a bad all in all - its free and you get to see your beloved City for approximately 130 minutes in total over a full season!!!
You get to spend most of your year in a shit hole of a country, populated by beautiful, but miserable-as-fuck women and very badly dressed men. It includes a free wireless code for the hotel you are staying in - which entitles you to spend 3 hours setting up a connection, another hour searching for a free football site to get a workable stream, then.....another fucking hour, pressing F5 on your laptop to refresh the once working stream.
Not a bad all in all - its free and you get to see your beloved City for approximately 130 minutes in total over a full season!!!
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Membership
by leopold Thu May 19, 2011 9:05 pm
Pretty accurate description of the memberships there, Boris. But if the methadone addicted hostel dwellers are those who carry the Gold card, who the hell is the Value Gold card aimed at? At half the price of a Gold, but you get your seat chosen for you. The lottery is obviously you hope to end up with a dirt cheap seat on tier 2 somewhere near the Platinums (to really piss 'em off that your ticket was a quarter of the price), but what are the odds that you end up on row B of the North Stand, where you're going to get wet and miss half the match because you're sat lower than the pitch? One in one, I suspect.
leopold- The Boss
- Posts : 7381
Age : 53
Location : Manchester
Re: Membership
by Boris Thu May 19, 2011 9:17 pm
Value Gold is only open to people on the Sex Offenders Register on the condition that they reveal their crimes to a packed audience in Mary D's
Boris- Bench Warmer
- Posts : 761
Location : Manchester, England. -
Re: Membership
by BoyWithTheArabsCash Thu May 19, 2011 9:29 pm
It sounds like an updated version of the three wise men's presents, Gold, Platinum and Superbia.
I have requested a silver membership, but apparently that is a season ticket for OT.
I have requested a silver membership, but apparently that is a season ticket for OT.
BoyWithTheArabsCash- Regular Starter
- Posts : 1132
Location : Giggidy.
Re: Membership
by Moonchester Thu May 19, 2011 10:59 pm
where the fook does that leave the "Bronze" then??
Moonchester- Key Player
- Posts : 2600
Age : 42
Location : At work, usually
Re: Membership
by BoyWithTheArabsCash Thu May 19, 2011 11:04 pm
Somewhere between a Wigan season ticket and a seat for all eternity sat next to Gary Neville.
BoyWithTheArabsCash- Regular Starter
- Posts : 1132
Location : Giggidy.
TMG- Key Player
- Posts : 3795
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