Ban parents from watching school sports - article

Came across this article by Jim White in The Telegraph.

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The time has come to ban parents watching their offspring play school sport
School sport is turning us all into emotional illiterates and the kids are better off alone

On the last occasion I watched my son play sport for his school, things got a little overheated. The first XV were playing a local derby and the week leading up to the game had been soundtracked by Facebook threats and Twitter taunts. It turned out the action lived up to the anticipation.
Soon after the start, one of my son’s team-mates was caught at the bottom of a ruck. Seeing him stricken, an opponent took a well-aimed kick at his head. The assault took place out of the referee’s sight. It was, however, conducted in full view of the small gaggle of parents on the touchline, in such close proximity we could hear the crunch of boot on bone.
As the referee had not seen anything untoward, the game carried on. Well, it did up to the point the father of the victim decided to take things into his own hands. He marched on to the pitch and, with one hand on the miscreant’s shirt collar as the other dialled 999 on his phone, attempted to make a citizen’s arrest.
Let’s just say his intervention did not go down well with the school authorities. The game was stopped as he was removed from the pitch by our team coach and escorted out of the grounds, yelling over his shoulder, “I’ll see you in court”.
I have a feeling I know what would be the view of Leonard Blom about that incident. This week the headmaster of St Aubyn’s prep in London wrote in the journal of the Independent Association of Prep Schools that overexcited parents are ruining school sport. Parental hysteria, he said, was running riot beyond the white lines. And it had to be stopped.


He has a point. Games are meant to be for the youngsters themselves, not their parents. Goodness knows what it must be like for the modern child, trying to enjoy themselves with their parents’ looming touchline presence blocking out the sunlight.
We grown-ups must surely be aware, even as we stand there yelling out instructions to “hoof it”, that we are not helping our child’s sporting development. We know even as we put pressure on them to get stuck in that we are turning what should be a pleasure into a vehicle for performance anxiety.
Yet somehow we cannot help ourselves. That afternoon on the touchline watching the rugby, my sympathies were entirely with that overexcited dad. Indeed, I suspect if it had been my son who was thus assaulted, any police presence would have been required not to arrest the wrong-doer, but to take me away for an act of public revenge.
Because this is what watching your offspring in competitive action does for you: it frays the emotions like nothing else. For me, nothing, not World Cups, not Olympic Games, not the rare occasion when a horse I have backed has got anywhere near the winners’ enclosure at Cheltenham, has the resonance of watching my own flesh and blood hoofing a ball around.
It does not matter the level of competence, nothing fills you with as much pride as their limited success and nothing makes you suffer like their defeats. For the sad and middle-aged, nowhere do you feel more alive than on the school touchline.
But Mr Blom insists if we cannot keep ourselves in check, it would be better for all concerned if we absented ourselves from school games entirely. Let youngsters get on with it without disturbance from the ill-disciplined emotional illiterates on the touchline. It is surely an inarguable proposition.
Mind, the emotional traffic this weekend will not necessarily be in one direction. A colleague recently encountered Jeremy Clarkson on the touchline during a school rugby match. Intrigued by such an august presence, he asked the broadcaster which member of the opposing team was his son.
Clarkson replied that his boy was not actually playing in the game they were watching. In fact, he was involved in one taking place simultaneously on another pitch. Which prompted my colleague to ask why Clarkson did not see fit to watch his boy in action.
“I’d love to,” came the reply. “But he’s banned me from going anywhere near where he is playing.”
It seems that when the opposition saw Clarkson arrive they wanted to know immediately who his lad was. And the moment they worked it out they invariably battered the poor kid. One way or another in school sport it seems an offspring is forever haunted by the sins of his father.
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What's everyone's thoughts?

I am the Secretary/Chairman and U16 Manager of our village football club - Tattenhall JFC.

I set the club up 3 years ago and we now have U8's and U9's, with an additional U14's for next season. When I originally wrote our Club Constitution, using the FA's template, one of the areas that had to be included was the FA's Respect Campaign and how we would adopt it. As the Child Welfare Officer, I have attended all the usual courses necessary for the role and give a pre-season presentation to all players, parents and guardians on what we expect from them with regards to this area; basically, what's acceptable behaviour and what's not, how we will deal with incidents and what the consequences will be.

Since I last ran junior teams in the late 90's....my first season was an absolute eye-opener as to how parents behave towards their own lads, referee's and opposition players and parents. This problem has only got worse IMO, year on year. This season being the worse for 'abusive' parents and players....I hasten to add, opposition players and parents, not ours.

Here are a few examples from this season:

1) 15 yr old lads surrounding the ref and screaming at him "you fucking wanker, you tw*t, you stupid c*nt" Not one single yellow or red card was shown to them. It didn't help that their manager was screaming "you're a fucking idiot ref, you blind fucker". This was to a referee who was no more than 18/19 yrs of age.

2) A player before Xmas grabbed one of my smaller players after he caught him with a clumsy tackle, literally picked him up and threw him to the ground, telling him he was a "useless c* nt and I'm going to fucking snap your legs as soon as you get the ball, and if not, I'll still snap you little fucker"...3 yrds from the ref, who then went to speak to him, only to be pushed away and told to "fuck off". The ref gave him a yellow card!

There are a few other similar examples. In all of them, I have shouted to the referee to send the players off. The referees seem reluctant due to the prospect of what the mangers will say or do. Often, they are getting dogs abuse from parents and managers on the sidelines - and if this is at their home ground, it can be difficult for them. They often turn up 10 mins before KO, on their own, and probably knowing what sort of 80 mins they are in for.

At the beginning of this season, we signed a player who was very decent. A good MF player who would have improved our team. I had my doubts about him prior to signing him...listening to him berate our other players if a pass went astray or they didn't pass it to him. We had 4 or 5injuries a few games into the season, so decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and sign him up. His father came round to my house, saying that **** would work hard in training and do well for the team. I told the player that he was a level above some of the others, so we don't want to hear constant moaning at the players, but encourage them..." I will, promise"

The first game he played was in a Cup match in Wallasey against last years Cup winners (and their U17 team as well!) Within 20 minutes we were 3-0 down and he started going mental on the pitch at the players.....so I immediately brought him so I could talk to him.

Before I'd had the chance, his father had walked from the stands, round the pitch and over to where me and my assistant were stood....I was called a "fucking idiot" for taking his son off, "you've not got a fucking clue what you are doing"....He omitted to ask why I had!

I ignored the parent and went to speak to the player....I was met with a virtual repeat of what his father had just said...like father, like son!

I picked up his hoody and rain jacket, gave it to his dad and told him to take him home, I would refund his money when he returned his kit and asked to take his son home. He stood there with his mouth open for a few seconds before walking off, shouting another tirade of abuse at me.

We are not playing in some Inner-city league where you may think that some players and parents may not have received an education and that this behaviour is just part-n-parcel of everyday life. We're talking about some nice communities around the Chester, Cheshire area.

Does sport really bring out the 'evil' in some parents? I think it does and it's getting worse from what I see. The big problem is that the County FA's don't bother doing anything to the clubs (sound familiar?). I've wrote 2 complaints to the County FA this season...and yet, these teams have had no punishment whatsoever.

Would banning parents help? I don't think it would as it will spoil it for the large number of parents who turn up and genuinely support their kids. Whenever I watch my youngest playing Rubgy for his high school...i never say anything, i just stand and watch....even the same when I watch them both playing football for school....but some of the mothers are worse than the fathers for screaming...albeit, not swearing, but still going mental.

I think with all that has been highlighted on this forum this week about how the FA conduct their investigations into players, managers etc and what punishments they hand out....how can the County FA's or schools expect to deal with junior sports, junior players and their parents...if our National Governing bodies don't deal with it?

Wow that really is shocking, always thought what I was missing out with just girls but that sounds awful.

Thinking back I played nearly all junior sports from 7 right through to early 30s with football and there was none of this was there? Yes passionate supporting but sporting. Ok adult football could get a little fruity but you all had a beer together afterwards and laughed about it.

I've never been a pushy parent though, my little one could be brilliant at golf as took her to lessons at 5 but she wanted to stop a few years later. I wasn't upset because if she ever wants to start again I know she can swing a club well. Maybe they are that blinkered to think this is the 1st step to little Johnny being the next Messi?

Guess that could be one explanation....or re-living their failings at sport through their kids?

But one thing is for sure....when the likes of Moyes, Rodgers, Taggert in the past etc, get virtually no punishment for berating refs, and Rooney with his foul-mouthed attacks on the pitch, all going against FA rules....no wonder this type of behaviour finds its way into Junior football on the pitch and sidelines when the FA don't really deal with it effectively in the most watched football league in the world!

I mean how long ago was it when Rooney was 'tagged' with this image of getting in refs faces for using abusive language? He had a sanction for his foul-mouthed tirade at the cameras....yet he still does it during games. Why?
Is it because the likes of Moyes, Rodgers etc get fines of £8,000? The comparison is like getting fined £50 when you earn £40k per year...are you really that affected in the pocket? Not really....so why stop doing it?

Total waste of money invested by the FA in their Respect Campaign that cost in the region of £5m. How many Bury's, junior football clubs etc could that money help?

Trouble is as we have said a lot recently football is rotten to its core these days.   It's not about the sport anymore it is all about the filthy green $$$$$$.

The modern footballer is so "un-tuned" from reality that should we really expect anything less?

There has to be a tipping point somewhere and I think it is fast approaching.   There are fewer and fewer kids playing sport now and the human race is becoming sedentary in all aspects of life.

Will be interesting to see where we are in 30 years.  Hopefully I will still be about to see it but it's going to be interesting.

http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2014/jan/17/grassroots-football-england-abuse-death-threats-withering

If you are involved or interested in grass roots football - this is a very disturbing read and one that isn't in isolation.

It's a sad state of affairs and, like you say Bluey, one that's not isolated. I manage a team in a deprived area of Tameside, one that can't afford to spend loads of money to send their lads to play football and we do whatever we can to keep it cheap, but it's getting harder and harder.

We're really lucky that we have a sports centre that offers us reduced rates for the pitches and facilities for players and supporters alike, which makes us one of the best footballing destinations in the Stockport Metro league, but it's looking likely that the pitch fees for next season will go up. It's not helped that the committee that runs the club have lost their sponsor and have no money to help any of the teams out, so it invariably comes out of our own pockets.

Most of the teams we play use municipal grounds, which are cheaper, but there's no other facilities: No changing rooms, toilets or refreshment options. And these are in places like Didsbury, Cheadle, Bramall and Macclesfield, hardly deprived areas. And as for some of the pitches, they're so bad as to be dangerously unplayable. In any given season we have pitches that are sloped, rutted, unmarked, waterlogged, covered in sand, too hard, too soft and on the odd occasion scattered with dog eggs.

When we look at the opulence of the PL, it seems ridiculous that the facilities for the future of the English game are in such a bad way. It's small wonder we don't produce any talent.

leopold wrote:And as for some of the pitches, they're so bad as to be dangerously unplayable.  In any given season we have pitches that are sloped, rutted, unmarked, waterlogged, covered in sand, too hard, too soft and on the odd occasion scattered with dog eggs.

Tbh leo, has this really changed that much?
I played on many a parks pitch in my youth on pitches like that. I remember getting changed in cars on the odd occasion most seasons because the opposition either didn't have changing facilities or no-one from the council turned up to open up........and that was a complete bitch in the middle of winter.
As for the threats,
I remember getting threatened by opposing players (even shot   ), just because i scored....Away cup games at Manchester YMCA, Stonemasons (Heywood) and especially Kersal were bad (those caged changing rooms were horrific after the game).
Grass roots football is suffering and tbh, it's probably gonna get worse season after season until the Government, PL, FA have to do something about it before it's too late. Even at the other end of the spectrum, Vets footy is struggling too, with teams dropping out season after season due to Council cuts.....it's a sorry state of affairs when at 35yr old it could be all over.

http://www.burytimes.co.uk/news/10946669.Ramsbottom_pub_football_team_Oaks_FC__could_disband__over_long_grass/

Just read this, not grass roots but another team struggling financially due to the Council.