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Election nightmare
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TMG
leopold
Topdawg
shakencity
Moonchester
Wensdi
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Election nightmare
Just hope the sociopath is not elected today otherwise we will be going down a very scary road with a ego maniac who wants total control. Very close race.
Wensdi- Key Player
- Posts : 3290
Re: Election nightmare
too close, which is a sad reflection of the times..
Yes Hilary Clinton is no angel,, nobody in politics is.
But Trump is just a crazy option..
actually, so was Brexit, yet enough people seemed to sway into that one...
Yes Hilary Clinton is no angel,, nobody in politics is.
But Trump is just a crazy option..
actually, so was Brexit, yet enough people seemed to sway into that one...
Moonchester- Key Player
- Posts : 2600
Age : 42
Location : At work, usually
Re: Election nightmare
Yeah and I was one of those ![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
Hilary seems to be a safer option, but Donald seems to have a lot of backing....could go either way it seems.
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
Hilary seems to be a safer option, but Donald seems to have a lot of backing....could go either way it seems.
shakencity- Cult Hero
- Posts : 8751
Age : 53
Location : Bury
Re: Election nightmare
Exactly the same as Brexit I'm afraid. The establishment totally out of touch with their electorate !! This wasn't even close in the end.
Probably better news for us post Brexit, but I'm not expecting even a tenth of his "promises" to happen. His acceptance speech has already dialed it all down.
Probably better news for us post Brexit, but I'm not expecting even a tenth of his "promises" to happen. His acceptance speech has already dialed it all down.
Guest- Guest
Re: Election nightmare
waiting for the NF in France to win the election here.
Topdawg- Legend
- Posts : 26200
Re: Election nightmare
I'm not so sure Clinton was a better option. That whole no fly zone over Syria? Tens of thousands of soldiers to police it and the chance that someone will shoot down a Russian plane... Putin was never going to throw the first punch, but I'd wager he'd be happy to go all in for a scrap if the US did.
leopold- The Boss
- Posts : 7381
Age : 53
Location : Manchester
Re: Election nightmare
I'm pleased he's got in, better than the crooked Clinton(s), although it was the better of 2 evils
I voted for Brexit as well. I think people in general are just pissed off with the normal crap so they've voted for something different. Can't see it making much difference to be honest. Trump's beliefs, promises whatever you wanna call them will never materialise, as it is in this country, every decision has to overcome massive obstacles before they become a reality
![Neutral](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_neutral.gif)
I voted for Brexit as well. I think people in general are just pissed off with the normal crap so they've voted for something different. Can't see it making much difference to be honest. Trump's beliefs, promises whatever you wanna call them will never materialise, as it is in this country, every decision has to overcome massive obstacles before they become a reality
TMG- Key Player
- Posts : 3809
Re: Election nightmare
I tend to agree with you Tony.
I think America wanted/needed a change - a la Brexit. They were fed up with Politicians and wanted a chance to tell them. Sadly, the only other nominees were fucking loonies - maybe not as corrupt as Clinton, but still fuckwits all the same.
Trump looked shocked when he walked on stage - as if the realisation set in - the promises he made, now have to materialise.
Can you imagine this cock-womble getting daily NSA/CIA/FBI briefings on what's going on in the world and where their troops are?
I got up earlier to watch it as I'm away - so at 05:00 here in Slovakia - I watched in amazement as I saw no way back for Clinton.
I pissed my sides when I heard Trump say that "we will include all colours, races, religions when it comes to making decisions".....really???? Not what you were saying 2 weeks ago Don!!
Hilary is a career politician - and I'm assuming the American public are just fed up of them and want something new. I'm really not sure Trump is that...buy hey ho. Like us, we voted over Brexit, now we just have to get on with it.
Problem is....we're talking about a lying, cheating, racist scumbag, sexual predator, gun loving, anti-abortionist....who is now the leader of the free world....and if you don;t believe he's a charlatan....see the below link:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIEVet4A1eU/
I think America wanted/needed a change - a la Brexit. They were fed up with Politicians and wanted a chance to tell them. Sadly, the only other nominees were fucking loonies - maybe not as corrupt as Clinton, but still fuckwits all the same.
Trump looked shocked when he walked on stage - as if the realisation set in - the promises he made, now have to materialise.
Can you imagine this cock-womble getting daily NSA/CIA/FBI briefings on what's going on in the world and where their troops are?
![affraid](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/affraid.gif)
![affraid](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/affraid.gif)
![affraid](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/affraid.gif)
I got up earlier to watch it as I'm away - so at 05:00 here in Slovakia - I watched in amazement as I saw no way back for Clinton.
I pissed my sides when I heard Trump say that "we will include all colours, races, religions when it comes to making decisions".....really???? Not what you were saying 2 weeks ago Don!!
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
Hilary is a career politician - and I'm assuming the American public are just fed up of them and want something new. I'm really not sure Trump is that...buy hey ho. Like us, we voted over Brexit, now we just have to get on with it.
Problem is....we're talking about a lying, cheating, racist scumbag, sexual predator, gun loving, anti-abortionist....who is now the leader of the free world....and if you don;t believe he's a charlatan....see the below link:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIEVet4A1eU/
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
Yeah, but it reads well!!
If you want real evidence:
Maybe this is a fake Trump?
![Wink](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_wink.gif)
If you want real evidence:
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
I fail to see how Hilary was worse than Trump.
Having said that, she was one of the worst main party candidates ever.
All of Trump's BS, all his lies, racism, sexism, mysogyny etc. and she still loses...
Having said that, she was one of the worst main party candidates ever.
All of Trump's BS, all his lies, racism, sexism, mysogyny etc. and she still loses...
Topdawg- Legend
- Posts : 26200
Re: Election nightmare
He's a fucking firecracker. He whines about Mexican's, Muslim's, women, US vets, the disabled....but then mention's them all in his first speech when elected President, asking for them all to get together and work through it!!
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
![Razz](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_razz.gif)
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
Topdawg wrote:I fail to see how Hilary was worse than Trump.
Having said that, she was one of the worst main party candidates ever.
All of Trump's BS, all his lies, racism, sexism, mysogyny etc. and she still loses...
Hilary is a Clinton. Bill Clinton was a cock, or liked a intern's mouth close to one.
The Clinton's have made an absolute fortune on the back of Bill's presidency. There's been FBI enquiries into fraud, tax evasion blah de blah with regards to charitable foundations etc. Which as we know, most is just bullshit - but bullshit sticks in Politics regardless of the truth.
However, Hilary wasn't liked by women in the USA. She was cold, a career politician. She called Republican's deplorable's....and many of the 'fence' voters who had voted Rep before, now suddenly took offence to that...hence the swing back in their votes.
The USA are fed up with promises....nothing seems to get done - especially since the days of Reagan....it's one promise after another. Obama, for all his good ideas, wonderful oratory...just couldn't get the Senate and the population on his side for change - FFS, he wanted to introduce an NHS style Healthcare system, yet that wasn't popular to the average voter. He captured and killed Bin Laden under his command....yet that still wasn't good enough for the population.....
Well let's hope you are happy with the good old, anti-abortionist, racist, sexist, homophobic, sexual predator that's been voted in. America needs a change....it needs a shake up.....but it's like having Boris Johnson in charge of the UK, for 8 years and saying "we want change"....so we vote in Simon Cowell to run the country.
![Rolling Eyes](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif)
Either way....American's are gonna have to "suck it up".....and "dig deep". I'm sure Trump won;t be as divisive in his approach as he has been in the campaign, but FFS, when you get a majority vote from the Mexican population in the USA...after your new President called you "all a load of illegal migrants, criminals and rapists".....what does that say about the hatred towards the Clinton's?
![Shocked](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_eek.gif)
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
Donald Trump is a Demagogue and has won over the electorate by instilling fear, blame and devisiveness in the disgruntled white working class male population - look at the rural areas of Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky etc. College educated, Hispanics, women voted for Hillary - she won the popular vote.
He is a loose cannon with no political experience, and as much as Hillary was not my choice - Bernie Sanders was - she has given 30 years of public service improving the lives of children and continued to do so while Secretary of State. It's a sad state of affairs but we'll have to wait and see.
He is a loose cannon with no political experience, and as much as Hillary was not my choice - Bernie Sanders was - she has given 30 years of public service improving the lives of children and continued to do so while Secretary of State. It's a sad state of affairs but we'll have to wait and see.
Wensdi- Key Player
- Posts : 3290
Re: Election nightmare
Had to laugh when I heard Trump was disgusted because he is a billionaire moving into state owned housing vacated by a black family. ![Election nightmare Icon_biggrin](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
![Election nightmare Icon_biggrin](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
![Election nightmare Icon_biggrin](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
![Election nightmare Icon_biggrin](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
skyblueoz- Cult Hero
- Posts : 5048
Age : 65
Location : Perth Western Australia
Re: Election nightmare
I don't believe a word he says. Throughout history, demagogues have used populism to dangle the keys to get people to "look over here" while "over there" they engage in activities that are diametrically opposed to the public good. When you look at who he's surrounding himself with, which, contrary to his populist campaign are Wall Street bankers, education privatizers, anti-safety net advocates and business oriented globalizers.
His white house spokesman is a right plonker and Kellyanne Conway can do one.
I can think of a good four letter word for his Trumpiness but am trying to exercise some decorum here![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
His white house spokesman is a right plonker and Kellyanne Conway can do one.
I can think of a good four letter word for his Trumpiness but am trying to exercise some decorum here
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
Wensdi- Key Player
- Posts : 3290
Re: Election nightmare
We're all (mostly) adults here Wensdi, if you wish to vent using any foul language we will understand fully :p
Moonchester- Key Player
- Posts : 2600
Age : 42
Location : At work, usually
Re: Election nightmare
I like him He says what he means which is quite refreshing in this day and age. Just listen to Theresa May or any of our politicians answer a difficult question They never answer it !
Not saying I agree with all he says but he'l certainly shake the old farts regime up, something that the FA UEFA, PL etc could do with
Not saying I agree with all he says but he'l certainly shake the old farts regime up, something that the FA UEFA, PL etc could do with
TMG- Key Player
- Posts : 3809
Re: Election nightmare
My cousin and her husband are Floridians and they love Trump and completely hated Hilary, they are so far right they are off the page. I've disowned her lol
ManCityMan- Key Player
- Posts : 3023
Age : 68
Location : Glasgow
Re: Election nightmare
He's a .... it's simple as that.
Shake up the establishment? The way he has already lied on his Twitter account says all you need to know about Trump. Saying he's signed Executive Orders, when in fact, they clearly aren't EO's. It's his way of chest-thumping to show he's a man in power - that the females who've crossed his path have experienced. He's a complete idiot, surrounded by idiots - and that's worrying.
To say he'll build a wall to keep illegal Mexicans out of the USA, then claim their President will pay for it? I mean really???
It's like telling the Jewish community in occupied Poland and Hungary, you're not blued-eyed, nor are you of the Aryan race....but you know what, build these chambers as part of our action plan.
Shake up the establishment? The way he has already lied on his Twitter account says all you need to know about Trump. Saying he's signed Executive Orders, when in fact, they clearly aren't EO's. It's his way of chest-thumping to show he's a man in power - that the females who've crossed his path have experienced. He's a complete idiot, surrounded by idiots - and that's worrying.
To say he'll build a wall to keep illegal Mexicans out of the USA, then claim their President will pay for it? I mean really???
It's like telling the Jewish community in occupied Poland and Hungary, you're not blued-eyed, nor are you of the Aryan race....but you know what, build these chambers as part of our action plan.
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
All the yanks I know are in the military and they all think he's the best thing since sliced bread.
Nijinsky- Regular Starter
- Posts : 1870
Location : Cambridgeshire
Re: Election nightmare
They will do NJ...a bigger budget for the military and they get to keep their jobs.....yet Trump wants to remove Obamacare and give access to free healthcare?
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
Trump will drop more bombs and keep the armed forces busy.
You need conflicts and no peace to keep that machine rolling.
You need conflicts and no peace to keep that machine rolling.
Topdawg- Legend
- Posts : 26200
Re: Election nightmare
Exactly....his aggressive rhetoric perfectly suits the USA's military might.
Anyone listened to his Press Secretary, Sean Spicer? Jesus, he's a mini-me of Trump with his approach to the media.
Next time you listen to him, listen to how many times he repeats the same thing within a few seconds.....it's clearly an affliction!
Reminds me of that Goodfella's scene....![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
Anyone listened to his Press Secretary, Sean Spicer? Jesus, he's a mini-me of Trump with his approach to the media.
Next time you listen to him, listen to how many times he repeats the same thing within a few seconds.....it's clearly an affliction!
Reminds me of that Goodfella's scene....
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
How little truth has he spoken? He's just a bag of shite. So many people still have their noses in the trough. Did you see how the proposed education secretary got pasted?
Topdawg- Legend
- Posts : 26200
Re: Election nightmare
It's like this ban on Muslims....they're now doing a u-turn on that. Trump actually promised a total ban on Muslims going to the US and extreme vetting. The former is illegal under the US constitution....and his opponents failed to comprehend just how ignorant he is on the legal system of his own country!!
![Rolling Eyes](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif)
![Rolling Eyes](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif)
![Rolling Eyes](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif)
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
So, Trump is willing to spend 10's of $b's on increasing America's military might. He's also adding this ban on 7 countries' citizens entering the USA, unless you have duel nationality - a bit of a retreat to his initial rhetoric.
Q. Why remove free healthcare for US citizens and spend billions on defence, military and the banning of citizens from these 7 countries?
A. To remove the threat to US citizens from Islamic terrorism....Trump's words, not mine.
Well I've got a question for Donald......from 9/11 to 2011, 2 US citizens were killed by Islamic Jihadist fighters. 21 US citizens were killed by armed toddlers. 31 by lightning. 69 by lawnmowers. 264 by being hit by a bus. 737 by falling out of bed.
However, 11,737 US citizens were killed by being shot by another American citizen.
President Trump should look at gun ownership if he "wants to put American citizens first"....and possibly, free healthcare is needed to treat all of these gunshot injuries caused by American's on American's, and worry less about Islamic extremism.![Wink](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_wink.gif)
Q. Why remove free healthcare for US citizens and spend billions on defence, military and the banning of citizens from these 7 countries?
A. To remove the threat to US citizens from Islamic terrorism....Trump's words, not mine.
Well I've got a question for Donald......from 9/11 to 2011, 2 US citizens were killed by Islamic Jihadist fighters. 21 US citizens were killed by armed toddlers. 31 by lightning. 69 by lawnmowers. 264 by being hit by a bus. 737 by falling out of bed.
However, 11,737 US citizens were killed by being shot by another American citizen.
President Trump should look at gun ownership if he "wants to put American citizens first"....and possibly, free healthcare is needed to treat all of these gunshot injuries caused by American's on American's, and worry less about Islamic extremism.
![Wink](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_wink.gif)
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
I see Microsoft, Expedia and Google are now taking a legal challenge towards the ban on these 7 countries, saying it's unconstitutional and harms US businesses.
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
Re: Election nightmare
John Cleese: Letter to The United States of America!
To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Theresa May, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every two seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies) You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
* John Cleese [Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers, Sir Lancelot of Camelot (Monty Python & The Quest for the Holy Grail), Torquay, Devon, England]
To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Theresa May, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every two seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies) You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
* John Cleese [Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers, Sir Lancelot of Camelot (Monty Python & The Quest for the Holy Grail), Torquay, Devon, England]
blueboy- Legend
- Posts : 25330
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» Have it - Four in a row
» So, it's another last day shoot out.
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» Pep’s at it again
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